FID – Chapter 888

Chapter 888: Where the Heart Longs, Yet Cannot Obtain

The Empress Dowager’s face darkened, black and sunken, full of splendid color.

After being angry at Grandma Liu, she turned her frustration on herself. Why did she have to ask that question in the first place?

If she hadn’t asked, none of this humiliating mess would’ve happened.

So what if Qin Xiao came? There was nothing strange about that.

Now she couldn’t explain herself even if she tried, and that coarse woman had even forcefully lumped her together with him.

Grandma Liu finally sensed something was off. “Did I say something wrong?”

The Empress Dowager glared at her through gritted teeth.

Grandma Liu quickly lifted Xiao Badou and held him out in front of her. “Do you want me to let you hold Xiao Badou?”

“……”

Liu Yusheng covered her face with her hand, cheeks already flushed red from holding in laughter.

The elders in the Liu family didn’t know about the history between the Empress Dowager and General Qin, and her grandmother had just stomped right on the Empress Dowager’s tail without even knowing it. Seeing her grandmother’s innocent look, Liu Yusheng almost burst out laughing.

In the whole Liu family, probably only Grandma could leave the Empress Dowager so utterly helpless.

Because she was truly clueless—not pretending.

The Empress Dowager reached out and pulled Xiao Badou into her arms, calming herself down internally. 

She came here to celebrate the two little ones. She would not stoop to the level of an ignorant, coarse woman!

Still, she couldn’t help but sneak a glance in that direction, secretly worried she’d catch sight of Qin Xiao’s mocking smile.

Fortunately, he wasn’t looking at her. He was focused on the chessboard full of hopeless moves, attentively giving pointers to Grandpa Liu.

Only then did she quietly exhale, her attention returning to the two little ones.

At the very moment she withdrew her gaze, the man slightly turned his head and looked toward her.

In those weathered eyes—so similar to her own—were hints of complexity, a sigh, and a deep, ocean-like affection.

Seeing that the Empress Dowager was now fully absorbed with the babies, her expression gradually relaxing, Grandma Liu found an opportunity to pull Liu Yusheng aside and quietly ask about it.

She wasn’t truly an ignorant woman—just blunt. From the Empress Dowager’s strange reaction earlier, she suspected there must be an untold past between her and General Qin.

She needed to understand a little more, so she wouldn’t say something wrong again.

“Grandma,” Liu Yusheng said softly, “to be honest, I don’t really know either. Things between them are quite complicated. Please try to be mindful of Her Majesty’s feelings. She’s alone now, with no family left around her. She… is actually a very kind elder.”

“I understand,” Grandma Liu said, feigning a pinch on her granddaughter’s cheek and teasingly scolding her, “I don’t talk like that to just anyone. It’s just that she’s too reserved and withdrawn. If I don’t tease her a bit, would she even show that much temper? Being full of temper is still better than being numb, isn’t it?”

“I knew it! My grandma is the most understanding person! And she’s got the kindest heart too!” Liu Yusheng grinned, fully imitating the way her second brother usually coaxed their grandmother, now turning it around and using it to soothe the Empress Dowager. Her skill in doing so was so advanced that even Liu Yusheng had to admit defeat.

“Of course,” Grandma Liu said, beaming from the compliment. She then returned to her seat, happily playing with the babies alongside the Empress Dowager and her two daughters-in-law.

Liu Zhiqiu and Liu Muqiu were the only ones not present in the main hall. No one knew where the young couple had gone.

Since arriving in the capital, aside from spending half the day at the King’s Manor playing with the babies, the two had practically explored every street and alley in the city. They’d also caused plenty of trouble at Wanjin Restaurant, frequently getting entire tables comped every few days.

By the late afternoon, just before dusk, the food was served, and everyone had finally gathered—marking the official start of the twin babies’ full-moon banquet.

With so many people present, it inevitably got noisy with all the toasting and chatting. But the two little ones, nestled in their cradles to the side, didn’t cry or fuss. Instead, they blinked their clear, glass-like eyes, quietly listening. 

Anyone who leaned over to take a peek would see the two babies fully engrossed, and when particularly excited, they would even wave their little hands and kick their tiny legs.

The so-called full-moon banquet was really just for the sake of festivity. Guests would bring gifts for the babies to celebrate their one-month milestone, but there wasn’t anything especially ceremonial. What mattered most was the affection and well wishes from the elders.

By the end of the meal, the two little ones had received over a dozen gold lock charms, red pouches filled with lucky money, and a large stack of handmade baby clothes lovingly sewn by their elders, all piled neatly in the corner of their cradle.

During the banquet, Liu Yusheng stole several glances at the Empress Dowager and Qin Xiao, curious and gossipy about how those two interacted.

While the Empress Dowager didn’t notice her sneaky peeks, Feng Qingbo and Qin Xiao certainly did.

Neither of them showed any reaction.

Qin Xiao had long since mastered the art of remaining unmoved—like a mountain. Liu Yusheng’s probing looks weren’t enough to shake him in the slightest. 

Besides, if he could sit here today, it naturally meant his skin was thicker than most. Just like that time he waited outside the King’s Manor, like a hunter lying in ambush, and the young lady in the carriage was inside talking about his shameless persistence.

As for Feng Qingbai, he kept his calm because he had no way of stopping her—and also because he was indulgent toward her. Though her curiosity bordered on gossip, in this kind of setting, it wasn’t anything out of line.

After the banquet, the guests didn’t leave right away. Instead, they lingered in the flower hall, chatting and savoring the warmth of the gathering.

Feng Qingbai carried a jug of wine and walked slowly with Qin Xiao to the back garden. They found a stone table and sat across from each other beneath the moon.

Uncorking the wine, Feng Qingbai took a swig straight from the jar and then handed it to Qin Xiao. “I still remember back when we were at the southeastern border. In the garrison’s office, you once drank alone in the courtyard. I even snatched a sip of wine from you.”

“Who would’ve thought that one day, this old man would sit and drink with Your Highness like this,” Qin Xiao said with a laugh, tilting his head to look up at the moon after taking a long drink. “So much has changed.”

“The moon is the same, the people are the same. How can you say everything has changed?” Feng Qingbai smiled. “Though you’ve laid down your arms, I actually think your current role suits you even better. Staying in the capital, with time on your hands, you can finally do what you want.”

Qin Xiao looked at Feng Qingbai, his gaze deep and unreadable. He didn’t speak.

“Now that Feng Mohan has started managing state affairs,” Feng Qingbai said, “as I gradually step back, I don’t feel uncomfortable. On the contrary, I feel relaxed. I’ve even started thinking that once he’s able to rule the nation on his own, I’ll take Shengsheng and our children and return to Xinghua Village to retire in peace.”

“Are you willing to let go of power?”

“Power is something that can be gained with a bow of the head. But the things my heart truly desires—there’s no comparison.”

Taking another large gulp, Qin Xiao looked off into the distance, his expression dark and hard to read.

Heart desires. 

He, too, had heart desires he longed for. 

Unfortunately, unlike Feng Qingbai, he was not so lucky. He couldn’t grow old hand-in-hand with the one he loved.

The one his heart yearned for was the one he could never have in this lifetime.

“What kind of place is Xinghua Village?” Qin Xiao suddenly asked.

“If you want to know, just visit when you have the time.” At the mention of Xinghua Village, a rare lightness surfaced in Feng Qingbai’s demeanor. “It’s a paradise untouched by the world. A perfect place to retire.”

When they returned from the back garden, the people in the flower hall were also getting ready to leave. The night had grown late, and the elderly—accustomed to their routines—were already showing signs of fatigue.

Feng Qingbai personally escorted the Empress Dowager. This time, she didn’t refuse him. After all, it was pointless.

What truly irritated her, however, was that shameless Qin Xiao actually squeezed into her carriage as well.

Even though the palace wasn’t on his way.